Gold Medal Weight Loss

I have the Ben Johnson of metabolisms. I burn through the caloric intake of any meal just with the effort it takes to eat it. That's how fast my metabolism runs. It reminds me of my sister Leslie's first dog, a chihuahua named Calvin. Real ambitious type. And scrappy. Scrappy as all hell. Instead of eating his own food, which was some mush dished out in tablespoon-sized cup, he'd go for a single chunk of the bigger dog's food. The bigger dog being Rocky, a 12-lb schnauzer. Calvin would work on this single chunk of food for an hour before polishing it off. As it turned out, after visit to the vet, we discovered that Calvin had become malnourished. He was exhausting so much energy eating that single chunk of food that he was literally starving after he finished it.

That's me. I eat all the time but just can't seem to take in more calories than I burn. Fortunately, I haven't lost that much weight...the title there is a little misleading but I do miss a Sonic burger and the activity of just sitting in a chair letting what little fat manages to survive my metabolism's wrath to pile on.

As for Calvin, one afternoon my dad and I got a frantic phone call from Leslie. He had darted out of her apartment which was part of a large complex built on some newly developed farm land. He had been missing for about 15 minutes when a stark reality set in, being no larger than a mouse, he was without a doubt boosted by a hawk. They used to flock like pigeons in that area. Given the fact he was a fearless dog, I like to imagine his struggle as being on par with Brad Pitt's character in Legends of the Fall when he encounters the bear at the end of the movie. "And it was a good death."

Wow, I have no idea what's going on with this post.