Pain India Ass

Now this really isn't a fair assessment of India because I've only been through 2 of its poorest states but still here's what I've decided...India is like one of those dominatrices that's really a submissive. You know the ones, wild and somewhat unruly, taunts you with obscenities until you pull their hair and smack 'em on the ass with a bamboo cane. Maybe throw in some hot wax until they understand that you're the boss. That's India.

The thing is, I only got to the hairpulling stage. See, if I were Indian I'd be doing the wobbly-bobbly head nodding they do when they are either confused or feel the need to acknowledge your existence but not your complaint. I just don't get India. I mean I'd like to eventually smack its ass but to what end?

Here's what gets me. They have an incredibly burgeoning IT industry yet they're telecom networks are for shit. Just a step up from a rotary phone. They have some of the best doctors and medical facilities in the world but they live in absolute squalor and filth at such a tremendous scale it's mindboggling. They have a richly diverse and epic history with legendary treasures and monuments yet they try to nickle and dime you to death with constant scams and they seemingly value very little. It's hard to wrap my head around it.

Like I said though, this isn't entirely fair. It would be like someone going to the deep south and making the generalization that all Americans suck apple sauce through straws and enjoy the intimate company of goats.

So, I'll give India another chance but not before swinging through Thailand to procure a gimp mask and whip to get her back in line.

Laura, don't read this post to James or Aidan. Not sure you'll want to explain all of the S&M references.